i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
