I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
