"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
