where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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