So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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