pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
