Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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