In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
