last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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