Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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