You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
