did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
