i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
