can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize