What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
