The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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