just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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