Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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