I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
