I think I won the penis lottery.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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