; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize