I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
