I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
