So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
