Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize