i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
