I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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