You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
