Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
