Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
