Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
