saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
