I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
