Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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