Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
