How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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