were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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