my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
