You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
