Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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