Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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