I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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