i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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