just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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