what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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