Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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