Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
