New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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