Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Everclear isn't food dammit
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
