your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize