I'm drive I can fine osifer
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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