So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
