At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
