I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
