I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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