There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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