So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
