I bet he comes in French.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
