They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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