Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize