after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
