ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
