Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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