whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
soo... how was my night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
